I don’t like The Beatles.

…

Now what do you do when you read that line? Did you gasp in horror? Did you shake your head and go, “wow…”? Did you immediately discount every opinion I hold about music?

If you’re anything like any other individual I’ve encountered, then one of those questions received a “yes” answer. Why? Why did reading that one statement evoke such a response?

The answer is that The Beatles are (said in an epically cavernous and echo-y way) “THE GREAST BAND OF ALL-TIME.” It’s the one G.O.A.T. argument that few seem to contest. It’s spoken and repeated as a given that everyone is supposed elicit a agreeing nod.

Given that this is the case, people assume that I don’t like The Beatles just to be different. They see it as a misguided attempt to be “cool;” to be a rebel. Yet this logic is flawed. It’s almost a case of religion. You don’t gain other people’s respect by not believing in their gods, and The Beatles are held up as cultural gods.

I’ve also encountered folks who say, “Go listen to Revolver, or the White Album, or Sgt. Peppers. Then you’ll see.” Why do people always assume that if you don’t like a massively popular band that you haven’t listened to their music? I have listened. The songs just don’t do a single thing for me.

So why is it that a person cannot dislike The Beatles music? Lots of people don’t really care for The Rolling Stones, but hardly anyone would public ostracize you for not liking them. All other music can be written off as someone’s personal tastes, but for some reason if you don’t like The Beatles then you’re suddenly an idiot.

Some might make the claim that The Beatles influenced all the music that came after them. First off that’s blatantly untrue, and second off so what? I’m sure there are many bands that you like; yet you don’t care for the bands that inspired them. One can be a fan of R.E.M. or The Pixes but not like The Velvet Underground and no one will bat a lash at it. I suppose some might harbor the insane notion that The Beatles were entirely original. They started as a cover band for Christ’s sake. Of course they had influences, but one doesn’t get crucified for not admiring those who influenced The Beatles.

Maybe it’s just a case of wanting some unity. While humans surely revel in arguing with others about who’s opinion is superior on a wide range of topics (from sports to politics to religion), perhaps a little part of people want universal agreement. It somehow validates that we’re all people cut from the same cloth; that we’re really not that different. By making the legacy of The Beatles into an entity that trumps the Pope when it comes to infallibility, everyone might be able to become closer knit.

If that’s the case, so be it. Who am I to argue with such worldly unity? However, it’s more likely the case that people grow up being told that The Beatles are unquestionably the best rock band ever. Every musical article they read says as much and everyone else weaned on the same dogmatic thinking support this belief. It’s become so ingrained in cultural discussions that there is no escaping it.

All I’m asking is that you just leave the people who don’t care for the Fab Four alone. Beatles’ supporters have become the Spanish Inquisition of music. Go about loving John, Paul, George, and Ringo – just don’t shove them down my throat.

*Originally published in the November 20, 2009 issue of The Gonzaga Bulletin*