Art impacts each one of us in a different way. No two people see a painting, hear a song or watch a movie and get the exact same thing from it. Which raises the question: Why are people so hesitant to experience a concert alone?
Recently one of my friends had one of her all-time favorite bands come through town but didn’t attend the show. It wasn’t because she couldn’t get a ticket. It wasn’t because she had to work that night. It was because she had no one to go with.
She was even considering just hanging outside the venue (not a smart idea in Spokane) during the concert because she cared so much for the band, yet going alone was unthinkable.
The situation may seem rather extreme, but this type of thing occurs quite often. Probably the most common situation for this refusal to digest art alone is movie-going. No matter how much they have been anticipating a film, people are reluctant to go solo.
Individuals will convince themselves that waiting to see it later with friends is the best option. It’s odd because watching a movie with others does not change the product in the least. If you watch the film alone or with a slew of friends, every frame is still the same. Every joke, scare or tear is still shows up the same way on that projector screen. So, what is it that drives this tendency in people? What we really desire is not the companionship; what we crave is social discussion of art.
One of the most rewarding aspects of art is talking about it with others. Art sparks vivid thoughts and ideas in a person’s mind and not being able to share these is tormenting. To break it down further, people want their own opinions heard. Humans are driven by ego, and as enthralling as it can be to hear someone’s rationale behind why they find a song or album fascinating, if a person has a strong thought of his or her own on the topic he or she will be edge-of-their-seat giddy to spit out their carefully crafted take. Unlike other conversations which some consider taboo; such as religion and politics – people are willing to take bold stands in discussions of art without fear of serious repercussions or damaged relationships.
Think about the typical water cooler situation. In work situations people often use art discussions – such as last night’s TV programming – to fill small talk. However, this only works fluidly when people are coordinated in their program watching. If a couple people watch AMC while others watch ABC, FX and HBO, the water cooler discussion will not be rich or possible. This leads to the indirect form of experiencing art together; suggestions. By suggesting what art we enjoy to others, we are able to have the conversations down the road. While seeing a good flick with a few friends can be rewarding, it’s even more socially rewarding to have everyone you know available to talk about it. Unfortunately, people failing to see an event alone can do the same thing.
Maybe a person doesn’t have any friends who want to attend a certain concert, but it’s foolish to discount the notion that they won’t meet someone down the line whom they can share it with. Unexpected connections through shared conversations on music are in many ways even invigorating and gripping than ones you see coming because it feels like sharing a something rare or secret.
So don’t shy away from taking in a concert that you’re dying to see just because you can’t find anyone to join you. You find a person to share the story with down the line or even at the show. Even if you don’t, you’ll always have the blissful memories.
*Originally published in the October 16, 2009 issue of The Gonzaga Bulletin*
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